Claire is a complete ham.

In France she was so glad to have me back that she resorted to naked flattery. She called my belly-button “FLOWER!”, and when she found a horse-inflicted bruise on my hip, she kissed it better.

In London she was more blase. I woke up one morning and watched her sleeping next to me. Her eyes twitched. She started to smile.

“You’re not asleep,” I said. “You’re just pretending!”

Eyes still closed, she burst into giggles.

Now that we’re home she’s figured out the TiVo remote and wants to watch Teletubbies 24/7.

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