i find my lack of faith disturbing

The disclosure of the London liquid explosive plot coincides with Jeremy flying to the UK for a week and me forgetting my meds. I spent the day inside the Schwarzschild radius of a snit so dense that no fun could escape from it, always an odd thing in San Francisco with the bright sky pouring golden light generously onto one and everyone on Kearny Street looking ridiculously huggable and hip. I convinced myself that Jeremy would never come home and I’d have to raise the girls alone and I’m going to make an awful widow, bitter and hopeless and never just letting it go.

Of course the reason I am writing this is because, now that I have written it as if it were a joke, I can’t believe the universe would be ironic enough to let it happen. You sell your damn soul to reason and the scientific method and testable hypotheses, and one cold glance from Death has you scrambling for the magical thinking you fondly imagined you had thoroughly excised. My religion is Atheist In Foxhole.

Leave a Reply

Comments are closed.