A cosmology, in the car on the way home:

“In the first fifty years of life, robbers discovered a kind of dust, which was smoke dust. And they put it into playgrounds so it would get in childrens’ eyes and noses and mouths and penises and baginas. Robbers are not very nice! But they were sorry! Because the smoke dust got in THEIR eyes and noses and mouths and penises and baginas! That is what happened in the first fifty years. I know the story.”

Homeschooling Julia:

“What colour is this? No, this is green. What colour is this? No, this is blue. Now then, Julia, here is a toothbrush. Can you say semicircle? Good! Can you say diamond? Very good! All right. My Book of Easy Mazes. And this is where we’re up to today. Aww, your hands are so cute.”

Posted in children, they crack me up | Comments Off on claire gets all monologuey

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