orstriya day

So we upheld our Australia Day tradition of a picnic in the Botanical Gardens. It’s usually Sydney, but this year we made do with Strybing Arboretum. We served Iced Vo Vos, and everyone was polite enough not to spit theirs out.

The other day our lesbian doppelgangers came into Atlas. They were sitting at the table behind us. The crypto-Rach was pissy because the bagels were all gone.

Crypto-Jeremy: How about a baguette?

C-R: You don’t even like baguettes.

C-J: It’s for you, dummy. You need to eat.

Leering heterosexual guy sitting at the next table: Masses of bagels at my place. My place is packed with bagels.


C-J: Let’s get you a baguette.

C-R (pissily): You mean I’ll have to stand in line all over again?

C-J (patiently): I’ll go with you.

Later a pretentious woman took the table next to us.

PW: My producer and I were using minimalist in its true sense, but my friend said I can’t use the term minimalist because there’s an actual musical genre called minimalism which my work sounds nothing like… though I have been compared to John Cage… Why do you say David Byrne? No, it’s interesting, because I am often compared to David Byrne… What I don’t understand about the music industry is why it rewards people who put themselves forward, at the expense of people who create art


Atlas is such a bountiful source of material that I sometimes suspect people of just winding me up. It’s a puzzler. Are these real pseuds, or are they only pretending?

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