It’s useful to be reminded every now and then that I am a stranger in a strange land, whose people and customs are alien to me.

I was joking around with a couple of cool work contacts on the phone. They both have kids, and they were trying to describe the shambles my life is about to become.

Guy 1: You’ll be thrilled when they get up and make their own breakfast.

R: I’ll be more thrilled when they get up and make my breakfast.

Guy 2: Kids don’t cook so well.

R: The plan is to live near a French bakery, so they can bring me perfect pain au chocolat. And they will learn to make good coffee, oh yes. Y’see, I don’t think of them as kids, so much as tiny slaves.

DEAD silence. Then eventually…

Guy 1: We’ll see how that works out for you.

Bryan’s friend Jsam, also Australian, has a business card that reads: “In my country, my behaviour is considered normal.”

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